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When a red curtain opens and an orchestra conductor emerges to “direct” the unmistakable 20th Century Fox theme music, we know we’re in for something different. Really different. Good different.

Filled with virtuoso special effects and spectacular song-and-dance sequences, Baz Luhrmann’s long-awaited Moulin Rouge makes every minute of our collectively held breath worthwhile. In fact, during its opening hour, this critic found it hard to look away even for a second to jot down a note, for fear of missing even a nuanced sparkle in the eye of some French whore.

But enough about me.

Somewhere between a fairy tale and an episode of Sesame Street, sitting on a strange line between history and fantasy, lies Moulin Rouge, a vaguely familiar story about a love affair between a penniless writer and a dying courtesan. Set in Paris in the year 1900, in and around the infamous Moulin Rouge — a brothel/dancehall in the seediest part of town — the film quickly tosses us into a whirlwind of a story, windmill included.

Christian (Ewan McGregor) arrives in Paris, eager to make his mark as a writer. No sooner does he begin to type than a band of bohemian poets and actors literally fall in on him, including the crazed and diminutive Toulouse-Lautrec (John Leguizamo, acting on his knees). Together they hatch a plot to take a new musical across the street to the Moulin Rouge in search of a backer for their thrilling new show.

Naturally, before midnight strikes, Christian has fallen in love with the star of the Rouge, the “Sparkling Diamond” Satine (Nicole Kidman), while her boss, the maniacal Zidler (Jim Broadbent) looks on disapprovingly. The man with the money is the Duke of Worcester (Richard Roxburgh), to whom everyone must suck up. But it wouldn’t be a movie unless the Duke was also in love with Satine — and boy does he have a mean streak….

Its plot is as old and trite as the most overdone of Greek tragedies, but the fun of Moulin Rouge is all in its telling. Far and away the best part of the movie are the spectacular musical numbers performed by some very good (not great) singers. (All the actors did their own voice work.) When they simply talk, you’ll find yourself drumming your fingers, hoping the next number will come along soon. And they always do — like a machine gun, some 19 performances appear in rapid succession.

The songs are all contemporary numbers unknown to 1900s Paris. While the use of pop songs in period pieces has actually been a mainstay of the musical since the 1940s, it’s never been taken to the extremes of Rouge. A Knight’s Tale tried this stunt only a few weeks ago, with mixed results. In Moulin Rouge, McGregor belts out “The Sound of Music” in one scene, Broadbent vamps through “Like a Virgin” (yes, Jim Broadbent), McGregor and Kidman duet memorably through a host of love-themed songs while standing atop the elephant in which she lives (yes, elephant), and the entire cast tangos to a Latin-infused version of “Roxanne,” with Jose Feliciano backing the group. You won’t even realize Marilyn Manson is covering “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” A Knight’s Tale’s “We Will Rock You” comes off as lame in comparison. Put simply, Moulin Rouge rocks.

The cast is uniformly superb. Jim Broadbent appears larger than life (and he is larger than life to begin with), while John Leguizamo is astonishingly smaller than life… with a French lisp to boot (”the Thpawk-leeeng Die-aaay-mon!” — try it out loud). Of course, this is Kidman’s and McGregor’s movie, and when they’re together on screen the picture shines brighter than ever. In fact, for their duets, Luhrmann (William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet) really cranks things up, laying on the dazzle and pouring his heart into the movie. The three of them form a remarkably apt trio.

Still, there’s only so much of this anyone can take. Moulin Rouge is a movie that wears down the audience and its cast. While it starts off as an unmitigated five-star extravaganza, it eventually flags into mere four-star territory as the film becomes repetitious and a bit slow (heresy!). Still, it’s one of the best films of the year to date, following Memento as the only award-caliber film released so far in 2001.

But forget all of that. What you will have witnessed after seeing Moulin Rouge is nothing short of the rebirth of the movie musical. It will certainly be a love-it-or-hate-it experience for moviegoers — but like they say, if you don’t get it, you’re just too old. Way too old.

Dead, probably.

As good as the film is, the Moulin Rouge DVD is better, a lavish, two-disc affair replete with extras. Luhrmann appears on two commentary tracks, and (much like The Matrix) a “follow the green fairy” feature takes you to mini-making-of bits in context with the movie. And if all that’s not enough, just pop in the second disc, for inside looks at early script drafts (amazing!), deleted scenes (inspiring!), and just about anything else you could want to see — including the performance of “Lady Marmalade” at the MTV Movie Awards. Outstanding disc.

The rogues of Rouge

Piven Blasts Emmy Award’s Reality Hosts

Actor Jeremy Piven has blamed his ill-received acceptance speech at last month’s 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards on the event’s reality TV star hosts.

Piven picked up a third successive gong for his role in U.S. TV hit Entourage at the ceremony, where he took the stage to thank his co-stars.

The star took aim at the hosts, including American Idol’s Ryan Seacrest, Project Runway’s Heidi Klum, slamming their lacklustre opening sequence after his own speech dried up.

And the actor cites the hosts’ poor opener as the reason the audience were difficult to entertain.

He says, “I thought we were being Punked, but indeed that was the act - that they didn’t have anything… I was confused. I bombed. It felt and looked like the life had been taken out of the audience… there was not a courtesy giggle to be found.”

When you’re the chosen one, like the boy wizard Harry Potter, expectations surrounding your arrival can be quite high. The same can be said for the film adaptation about said boy wizard, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. And while the young wonder might not let his magic school chums down, the movie chronicling his early wizard years could use a little lift.

Which isn’t to say that Sorcerer’s Stone, the first Harry Potter movie based on J.K. Rowling’s inexplicably successful book series, is a boring movie. In fact, Rowling’s exceptional world, involving young magic makers at a British wizardry prep school, transfers to the screen with a general creativity and charm in the hands of director Chris Columbus. The author’s Cinderella-esque tale of a boy who gets invited to the most magical ball of them all, kicks off with a classic sensibility, almost like a modern Dickens.

From there, getting to the celebrated Hogwarts School is a treat, as Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and the rest of the incoming first-years (including Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley and Emma Watson as Hermione Granger) buy the proper wizard tools, find the elusive Track 9 3/4 at the train station, and travel in boats by moonlight to the gothic center of higher learning. Columbus weaves the special effects so smoothly into the narrative as to make the magic nearly matter-of-fact.

But after we get the general gist of life at Hogwarts, Sorcerer’s Stone loses some of its sheen. The collection of characters to which we’re introduced early — Maggie Smith as Professor McGonagall; Alan Rickman as the eerie Professor Snape; the delightful Robbie Coltrane as Rubeus Hagrid — aren’t utilized well enough to provide the necessary oomph. They’re stuck within Steve Kloves’ (Wonder Boys) light, thin plot, with their roles eventually reduced to side characters, comic relief, or vague red herrings.

And the flatness of the narrative goes hand-in-hand with some of Sorcerer’s Stone look as well. Save for a couple of sequences, Columbus just doesn’t provide enough visual wow for such magical subject matter. I know that some of the action is meant to be dark, but the overall look of the movie doesn’t have the punch that the on-screen activity demands. In the end, there are too many missed opportunities for maximum thrills.

A prime exception is the truly wonderful centerpiece of the film, a prep school Quidditch match. For the uninitiated, Quidditch is a soccer style game played completely in mid-air, with players on broomsticks. Picture a combination of The Wizard of Oz and Rollerball.

Columbus’ take on this game is superb. There’s speedy action, seamless effects, and some thrilling excitement. The design of the match provides a wonderful combination of visual styles, with mid-20th century prep school clothes amidst medieval set design. The scene is, by far, the highlight of the film, much as the pod race was in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (oddly enough, another somewhat disappointing movie about a chosen boy).

But once we get back to the tale of our trio of little wizards, the plodding plot returns. And unfortunately, Radcliffe, as our hero, doesn’t seem too enthused by much of the wild goings-on. His school cronies, on the other hand, are just great — Grint, as Ronald, is wide-eyed and sympathetic, and Watson, as the precocious Hermione, is smart and energetic, taking a bigger bite out of this movie than any other actor.

While Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone does score points by giving visuals to some wildly fantastic stuff, the total picture lacks polish, and feels like a mild setup to future movies. Similar to X-Men, we get an environment being introduced just for the sake of future movies. That creates anticipation among fans, but shortchanges those watching this one.

The release of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone coincides with another Harry Potter milestone — the beginning of production on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, scheduled to hit theaters in mid-November, 2002. Stone is already expected to break box office records, including a possible run at Titanic (highly unlikely, if you ask me). That means there’s one thing Warner Brothers will be saying about young Harry for the foreseeable future… long live The Boy Who Lived.

Harry Potter’s DVD is as inexplicable as it is ambitious. An enormous two-disc set, the DVD promises tantalizing “never before seen footage,” but good luck trying to find it. Disc one is the standard movie, and disc two amounts to what is best described as an intricate game for kids. It’s all designed as a puzzle — to do anything you have to twist the right bricks to gain access, just like Harry and Hagrid did in London. If you didn’t memorize the pattern, you’ll have to go back to the movie (swapping discs in the process — though if you screw up enough times, the game will eventually show you the answer). To open more and more of the disc you have to complete more and more idiotic tasks — picking a wand, mixing potions, and the like. I gave up after half an hour of this nonsense, having exposed little more than a collection of interview clips. Warner Brothers: I appreciate that you’ve tried to do something beyond the usual with this highly anticipated release, but for us adults, give us a back door to the special features. We just don’t have time for this Hogwarts — I mean, hogwash.

School’s in session.

Amid rumors of a recent tiff, lovebirds Lindsay Lohan, 22, and Samantha Ronson, 31, were all smiles for the camera during a recent trip to Tokyo where Lindsay is collaborating with Sam’s twin sister and fashion designer, Charlotte Ronson, on Charlotte Hearts Lindsay Lohan, a limited edition handbag and charm line.

CLICK HERE for OK!’s Ultimate Lindsay Gallery!

But there’s one person who’s concerned that the media attention may be too much for the young couple. Samantha’s mom, Ann Dexter-Jones, says dealing with the gossip is harder for Lindz and Sam than people think. “It makes it very hard for them. You can’t have a good ol’ argument and nobody cares,” Ann told OK! at the Oct. 21 Chanel Mobile art exhibit opening in NYC.

Ann says it’s not easy watching her daughter be in one of the most talked-about romances in Hollywood. “I’m naturally concerned,” she told OK!, but adds, “Samantha can handle it.”

Meanwhile, Lindsay’s mom, Dina Lohan, recently blasted rumors claiming her daughter’s six-episode guest spot on Ugly Betty was cut short due to tension between Lindz and Betty star America Ferrera.

“It was just silly. America’s a doll,” Dina said. And as for rumors of Lindsay’s diva-like behavior on set, Dina explains, “They said Lindsay brought a posse. It was my mother and myself and Ali [Lohan]. It was not a posse.”

CLICK HERE for OK!’s Ultimate Lindsay Gallery!

Eva Mendes is quite literally stopping traffic with a new giant billboard advertisement.

The actress poses completely starkers for Calvin Klein’s Secret Obsession fragrance on the famous Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood.

The eye-popping ad - which was deemed too sexy for US television - features a nude Eva with only a hand and a strategically-placed sheet to protect her magnified modesty.

We hope she is ready for her close-up.

J. Michael Straczynski to write the long-gestating remake

J. Michael Straczynski, the writer of the Clint Eastwood-directed “Changeling,” is penning a long-in-the-works update of sci-fi classic “Forbidden Planet” for Warner Bros. Joel Silver is producing via Silver Pictures.

Warners picked up the project on the down-low earlier this year. As late as last year, it was set up at DreamWorks with David Twohy attached to direct. Prior to that, New Line had it. James Cameron, Nelson Gidding and Stirling Silliphant have been associated with the remake over the years.

Released in 1956, “Planet” told the tale of an expedition sent from Earth to check on a colony of scientists on a far-off planet. They find two members, a man who has found alien technology that doubled his intellect, Dr. Morbius, and his daughter, both of whom have managed to survive an unseen monster roaming the planet.

The movie, directed by Fred Wilcox, starred Walter Pidgeon, Anne Francis and Leslie Nielsen, but is perhaps best known for the character Robbie the Robot.

Matt Reilly is overseeing for the studio.

While CAA-repped Straczynski is generating some heat for “Changeling,” he is better known for his sci-fi and comic book work. He created TV shows “Babylon 5″ and “Jeremiah,” and worked on “Ninja Assassin” for Silver and the Wachowski Brothers.

Straczynski also has feature projects “The Flickering Light” and “Lensman” with Ron Howard at Imagine Entertainment, and “They Marched Into Sunlight,” with Paul Greengrass directing, at Playtone and Universal.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were reportedly overheard having an impressive bickering match during a train journey to Washington recently.

According to a US publication, the Mean Girls star was continuously whining at her girlfriend, while the DJ tried to deflect her comments by hiding beneath her hoody.

A spy tells Page Six that Lindsay was, “whining incessantly and Samantha was trying to deflect it.

“When Lindsay would get up, Samantha would sigh and put her sweatshirt hood back up.”

The actress was also said to have shouted, “I do what’s good for you, not what’s best for both of us.”

Sam may be the more boyish half of the duo, but it seems Lindsay wears the trousers.

See Lindsay and Sam at a happier time here

It’s Never Too Early for Oscar!
9/30/08 at 6:07 PM

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It’s not quite October yet, but that doesn’t mean anyone should hold back with their super-early Oscar-nomination predictions. The Envelope has its early pundit poll, and there are only a few clear leaders for acting: Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler), Kate Winslet (Revolutionary Road), and Angelina Jolie (Changeling). You need to know only two words for Best Picture so far: Benjamin Button. But maybe when we’re less than four months away from the big night, we’ll have a better idea about these things. [Gold Derby/LAT]

FICTION

1. “Eclipse” by Stephenie Meyer (Little Brown)

2. “Breaking Dawn” by Stephenie Meyer (Little Brown)

3. “Anathem” by Neal Stephenson (William Morrow)

4. “The Book of Lies” by Brad Meltzer (Grand Central Publishing)

5. “Twilight” by Stephenie Meyer (Little Brown for Young Readers)

6. “The Host” by Stephenie Meyer (Little, Brown)

7. “American Wife” by Curtis Sittenfeld (Random House)

8. “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” by Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows (The Dial Press)

9. “Dark Curse” by Christine Feehan (Berkley)

10. “New Moon” by Stephenie Meyer (Little Brown for Young Readers)

11. “The Keepsake” by Tess Gerritsen (Ballantine)

12. “Devil Bones” by Kathy Reichs (Scribner)

13. “The Story of Edgar Sawtelle” by David Wroblewski (Ecco)

14. “The Gypsy Morph” by Terry Brooks (Del Rey)

15. “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed” by Sean Williams (Del Rey)

NONFICTION

1. “Hot, Flat and Crowded” by Thomas Friedman (Farrar, Straus and Giroux)

2. “The War Within: A Secret White House History 2006-2008″ by Bob Woodward (Simon & Schuster)

3. “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow (Hyperion)

4. “StrengthsFinder 2.0: A New and Upgraded Edition of the Online Test from Gallup’s Now, Discover Your Strengths” by Tom Rath (Gallup Press)

5. “Breakthrough: Eight Steps to Wellness” by Suzanne Somers (Crown)

6. “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne (Atria Books/Beyond Words)

7. “Stori Telling” by Tori Spelling (Simon Spotlight)

8. “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea” by Chelsea Handler (Simon Spotlight Entertainment)

9. “The Gone Fishin’ Portfolio: Get Wise, Get Wealthy…and Get on With Your Life” by Alexander Green (Wiley)

10. “Fleeced” by Dick Morris & Eileen McGann (Harper)

11. “Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap … and Other’s Don’t” by Jim Collins (Collins)

12. “The Obama Nation” by Jerome R. Corsi (Threshold Editions)

13. “The Limits of Power” by Andrew Bacevich (Metropolitan Books)

14. “Who Moved my Cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life” by Spencer Johnson (G.P. Putnam’s Sons)

15. “The Case Against Barack Obama: The Unlikely Rise and Unexamined Agenda of the Media’s Favorite Candidate” by David Freddoso (Regnery)

The Wall Street Journal’s list reflects nationwide sales of hardcover books during the week ended last Saturday at more than 2,500 Barnes & Noble, B. Dalton, Bookland, Books-a-Million, Books & Co., Bookstar, Bookstop, Borders, Brentano’s, Coles, Coopersmith, Doubleday, Scribners and Waldenbooks stores, as well as sales from online retailers Amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com.

Studio picks up spec based on Katherine Kurtz’s novel

Columbia Pictures is bringing Katherine Kurtz’s “Deryni Rising” to the big screen.

In a six-figure deal, the studio has picked up “Deryni” as a spec by Alex Sabeti. Jimmy Miller is producing via his Mosaic banner.

“Deryni” is a historical fantasy novel first published in 1970 that launched Kurtz’s “Deryni Kingdom” series that, almost 40 years later, encompasses five trilogies, short stories and reference books.

The story is set in a medieval kingdom of humans alongside the Deryni, a race of people with psychic and magical abilities. The first novel centers on a young prince who, after the death of his father the king, must defend his throne from a Deryni usurper.

Sabeti also will serve as an executive producer.

Sabeti, repped by UTA and Mosaic, is best known for writing “The Art of Cool,” his high school comedy take on Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” that Columbia picked up in 2006. After the sale, Sabeti didn’t want to be pigeon-holed as a teen comedy scribe, so he decided to look for stories in an action genre to prove he had more than one voice.

“Deryni” was one of his favorite books as a boy, and Sabeti thought it offered feature franchise potential. He used the earnings from his first showbiz sale to option the entire book series. He adapted it on spec, which gave him a greater degree of control over how he told the book’s story.

Columbia now takes over the movie rights to the books, which it hopes to turn into a tentpole franchise.

Andrea Giannetti, who worked with Sabeti on “Cool,” is overseeing the project for Columbia.